Losing your confidence is something that many can’t grasp if they’ve never lost it. But it can and will affect nearly every one of us in one way or another. When we lose confidence in one area of our life, it affects our confidence in other areas.

Losing your confidence doesn’t necessarily come from having an incident in the saddle. It can occur when we have had a period out of the saddle, feedback from an instructor or individual, overhearing someone negatively talk about us, going through personal challenges and even suffering a fall at home or recovering from an illness or surgery.

As we get older, we are more likely to lose our confidence as we start to notice the signs of aging such as your hair going grey, getting wrinkles, hormone levels starting to diminish and play havoc with your moods, your outlook on life and maintain or losing weight becomes a battle. We also start to notice the things we could once do with great ease are no longer so easy.

All and any of these things affect our confidence.

When you lose your confidence, you become self critical and conscious of yourself. The way you move, feel, ride and look.

Whilst you may appear to be happy and content on the outside. The truth is. You’re not happy. You can be angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, sad and unsure of how to move forward.

Losing your confidence makes you unhappy. And not being happy limits your enjoyment of your horse, your riding and your life.

Seems simple but it’s incredibly challenging when you are not sure where to start or what to do. Having a plan, support and guidance and being realistic in the time it will take is key.

• Whatever you decide to do, whether it be to have coaching sessions, join a program or set yourself small manageable tasks. You must understand that it will take a minimum of 6 months to make real progress or you risk being back at square one.
• You should decide what you are going to do, how frequently you are going to do it and how long you will do it for. During that time, don’t change the approach. Stick with it. Give it time to work.

Examples: Hypnotherapy, NLP Sessions, Menopause Coaching, Going to the Gym/Class, Rehab Sessions with a Trainer, Having riding lessons on a school master, Join a Transformation program or simply setting yourself little tasks each week.

• Many of us feel that we don’t need help or are embarrassed to ask for help but there will be times when it feels like the world is against you and you feel low. Not having someone to listen and guide you is setting yourself up for failure.
• You will naturally think negatively of the progress you are making, instead of remembering and celebrating all the wins.
• Having support not only keeps you on plan and moving forward. It helps guide you, pick you up when you need it, drive you forward when you want to quit, and remind you just how far you’ve come.

• It takes time to gain confidence back, acknowledge that. It’s not going to be a week or a month. But if you are consistent and keep moving forward you will become the confident rider you want to be. You will find joy in being with and riding your horse.
• You will have a more positive outlook on life.
• You will be happy in your skin and learn to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way.

Helen signed up for the Strong Confident Rider Program in 2022 with the goals of:

I want to be a calm, capable and focused rider. I want to be courageous and responsive rather than timid and reactive.

• Change the pictures and narrative in my head!
• I want my body to feel strong and confident
• I want to develop a heartfelt connection with Wally, to ride with an awareness of how I’m using my body and how this affects Wally.
• I’d like to be able to think something and Wally would respond with minimal aids.

Helen smashed her goals within months of joining and has continued on to the SCR membership program where she is living her best life with Wally.

The most important step you can do right now is to take action. Life is too short to ‘do it tomorrow’. If you had done it yesterday, you’d be one step closer to becoming more confident. Taking action doesn’t need to be overwhelming.

Simply take the time today to decide the first step in your plan. How do you want to work on your confidence?

• If it’s the riding aspect, are you going to book some lessons with a schoolmaster?
• If it’s more about changing the way you view yourself, are you going to work with a confidence coach or have Hypnotherapy/NLP sessions?
• If is improving your mindset, health, well-being and riding, are you joining the Strong Confident Rider Program?

Whatever route is right for you. Don’t waste any more time worrying. Take action today and be one step closer. Just imagine where you could be in 6 months time.